From the beginning

As far back as I can remember I have struggled with my weight. I look back at my baby pictures and see I was always a chubby baby. Yeah, it's cute as a baby, but that wears off quick. I finally got rid of my "baby" fat once I got in about middle school. I became very active, playing sports, riding my bike, and just every day playing outside. My parents had an inground pool put in our yard around my pre-teen years which kept me very active. However, I was still unhappy with how I looked. I always wanted to hide, so I did under my clothes. I always wore black, hung out with people who wouldn't judge me and who would be my friend because of my personality not what I looked liked. My closest "real" friends I gained was the best part. Not to mention I was a Christian and believed staying close to God would strengthen me, HE did.

I didn't really care until I got married, obviously. Then I really started to care. I maintained my weight pretty well. I stayed active and was more careful about what I ate. Then our first son was born. I did so good, I didn't gain much weight and rejoined the gym shortly after he was born. I felt good about what I was doing. I began to really enjoy exercising and what it did for my body inside & out.

I continued down this road until I became pregnant again. This time I had it in my mind I was going to do the same thing I did before. But, this time would be completely different. SOOOO different in fact. More different than my mind or body (inside & out) could ever imagine. No one could ever prepare me for what was about to happen to me or our entire family. We were going to have twins. AAAAAAHHHH!!!! WHAT! I about had a nervous break down and I thought my husband would pass out right there in the room. I cried hysterically. I knew how hard one was, how am I going to take care of 2 babies at one time. UGH! My life was about to flip in so many ways, I had no idea.

The biggest problem my body faced internally was my hormone levels. A woman's hormone levels are suppose begin to return back to "normal" within 6 weeks after giving birth. Even with nursing your body should know how to get back to some normality. My body got thrown so out of wack, my hormones levels lost their way and NEVER returned to where they were. I was diagnosed with PMDD (Premenstrual dysphoric disorder). Check out this website to read more http://www.naturalnews.com/023555_symptoms_PMS_premenstrual_syndrome.html.

So, this is what I have dealt with since 2006. My levels go absolutely hay wire causing all of these affects, see the list of symptoms on the posted website, which then cause me to be uncontrollable. I am mentally & physically worthless about 2-3 weeks out of every month. So if you do the math correctly you will see I only get 1-2 weeks a month that I am my "real" self, happy, energetic, full of life and ready to tackle the world. Those other weeks, I am unable to function. I am the most miserable person, at least that's what I feel at that moment, in the world.

Part of creating this blog is to share these issues with others who may be going through the same problems. By sharing this information, maybe we can help each other find "natural" ways to conquer this and find what works for us. I am sick and tired of feeling like this. I will say, one thing that has helped me enormously is exercising, eating a healthy diet & adding Shakeology to my diet. My diet now consists of high, lean protein, only good carbs (nuts, seeds etc.), very very few starches & LOTS of water. With these changes, I have added about 2-3 weeks to my healthy time during the monthly. This is HUGE for someone going through what I have gone through.

Now another part of this blog is to share EVERYTHING with who ever chooses to read these. You will see I have still not found the ultimate  permanent "FIX". I have some amazingly, great, high energetic days where I can get all sorts of things checked off my list and get one sometimes two workouts in. Then there are days like yesterday where I can't do anything. It's so much more than just physical. It wears me down mentally. It can and does cause depression. You feel worthless and out of control. I take high levels of Vit. D3 to control those feelings. If I didn't take my Vit. D3, I would probably have to be committed right now. There again, there are those days it doesn't matter what I do or what I take, I just have to do nothing.

I really hope there others out there who will read this, follow me along my journey & maybe throw out some of their ideas. I'm creating this to become my daily journal. One to help me keep track of what works and doesn't work, how I feel each day when I try certain things, but also to help others through their journey. If I can change one persons life by sharing my struggling, this will all be worth it. So may God bless who ever gets to read this and chooses to follow me. My prayer is that who ever God choices to find this blog, follow it and my family, will get what they need out of it. :)